дыбр и кьюай.

[эш;]

x x x

самое отвратительное, на самом деле, — не знать, игнорируют ли тебя нарочно (вариант в данный момент, я могу признать, самый маловероятный, но это гадкое подозрение так просто не желает уходить, потому что я это я), просто забыли ответить на сообщение или что-то еще. Напоминать неловко, а моя паранойя — она ж всегда со мной.
не говоря уже о том, как неловко даже думать о том, чтобы написать чистую правду. Да, привет, я схожу с ума от одиночества, а ты когда-то по факту была моим единственным другом, но это правда-правда ничего не значит, мне просто общаться хочется.
это слишком эгоистично, в конце концов.
и слишком дурной тон — выказывать таких тараканов.
кажется, мне нужно переключиться и помириться с собой, но как-то оно непонятно, как возможно.
***
сегодня утром было так холодно, что встать с постели стало не то делом чести, не то проверкой силы воли. Зато я теперь ношу любимую шапку и страшнейший свитер, в которых выгляжу прямо хипстерской девочкой — с очками-то
заболела, все еще хожу в школу. Сил не остается ни на что, кроме как сделать по-быстрому уроки, укутаться в одеялко и читать или смотреть QI.
с каждым выпуском все больше влюбляюсь и в шоу, и во всех участников (Стивена-то обожаю уже давно), и в Алана отдельно, и в тот неповторимый и ужасно веселый пиздец, в который скатывается любое обсуждение в течение буквально двух минут — круче него только фраевская способность ляпать двусмысленности, действительно не имея в виду их Как говорится, whole QI in a nutshell:

и сборный пост смишнявок, просто чтобы были

и сборный пост смишнявок, просто чтобы были:

06.09.2013 в 23:07

Пишет  Мастер Боевой Линейки:

Большой сборный пост: веселости, забавности и смешнявочки в чисто британском стиле. Собрано для вашего, дорогие товарищи, удовольствия.
Инджой коммент энд перепост






























Stephen: What is the collective noun for a group of baboons?
Rich: The Pentagon.
***
Alan Davies: Eight hundred Americans die in a McDonalds every year.
Rich Hall: Which one?
***
Alan: It's a thought that you could just get a new head for your [tooth]brush. You could have a handle made for you. Perhaps perfectly molded for your own grip.
Stephen: So use ivory or-- no, hang on. Umm. But yes, you--
Alan: Rhino horn!
Stephen; Or panda fur. Or panda bone.
Bill: The beak of an osprey.
Phil: Stephen Fry's all endangered species bathroom cabinet.
***
ALAN: Doors are 6'6"
JO: All doors?
ALAN: Most domestic doors, yeah.
JO: How d'you know that?
ALAN: Bought a door recently.
***
Stephen Fry: It's pouring with rain. Can you give me a good reason why I should crouch down with my bottom in the air?
Jo Brand: Stephen, I wouldn't have thought you'd need a good reason.
Stephen Fry: Thank you very much. Thank you for that.
Rich Hall: I don't think you need a good reason 'cause I don't think anybody's even gonna approach you to ask you what you're doing. It's a clear signal you want some time alone.
Sean Lock: I'm just... picturing that image. It's one of the most erotic I've ever... I think it'd make a great "Athena" poster. Your buttocks in the rain, dripping rain. Put it on bedroom walls up and down the country.
***
[On where Stephen buys his clothes.]
Jo Brand: Do you get yours made specially by the Queen’s tailor?
Sean Lock: I’d’ve thought you’d’ve had yours done on a loom, by exquisite boys. [in a high-pitched voice] “We’re making Stephen’s pants!”
Jimmy Carr: [as Stephen] “I can’t wear these, he’s got a mole on his face!”
Stephen Fry: I… Oh, God, help.
***
QI on earth's second moon, Cruithne (or, why it is not a good idea to eat pasta while streaming episodes of QI)
Rich: Who comes up with this shit? So you're telling me there's a second moon?
Stephen: There... I am!
Jeremy: "Blue moon, I saw you standing alone". Not "with a small friend".
Rich: So why is there, uh... why is there not one romantic song with the word "Cruithne" in it? Why not "Blue Cruithne of Kentucky", or "Cruithne River", or--
Alan: No one can see it--
Stephen: BECAUSE IT WAS DISCOVERED IN NINETEEN-NINETY-FUCKING-FOUR!
***
Stephen: You could call the American Indians, or the native Americans-- you could call them Aboriginals, if you'd like.
Alan: But it's more fun calling them red-skins!
Stephen: I wouldn't try going to America.
Alan: No.
Stephen: You'll have your balls turned into a small purse.
Alan: *laughs* A very big purse, I think you'll find.
Alan: *proudly* I'll have my balls turned into a rucksack.
***
Stephen Fry: It’s in the Bible …
Alan Davies: I haven’t read it!
Stephen Fry: You should—it’s hilarious.
***
Stephen Fry: But, what illness do British doctors now treat more than any other?
Alan Davies: Pregnancy?
Clive Anderson: Pregnancy isn't a disease, Alan, surely.
Andy Parsons: It would be if Alan got it.
Clive Anderson: No, it would be a surprise; it wouldn't be...
Stephen Fry: I'll give you a clue, then: It begins with "D".
Alan Davies: Death.
Stephen Fry: No. Doctors don't treat death, unfortunately. No.
***
[about spiders]
Stephen Fry: They have a penis on their head. It's on the end of a little feeler. That's where their mating organ is. The males.
Mark Gatiss: They're in just a mess, aren't they?
Stephen Fry: Exactly. They're all dickheads!
***
Rob Brydon: When I was growing up, if my dad hit his thumb with a hammer - which he didn’t do often, but occasionally, just for something a bit different, he would do it - he would say “Hell’s bells and buckets of blood”.
Stephen Fry: It’s a good phrase, “Hell’s bells and buckets of blood”. Sounds good, doesn’t it? It’s a good way of getting it out of your system. [Pauses] I say “fuck”.
***
Stephen Fry: When did rabbits arrive in Britain?
Alan Davies: Tuesday.
Stephen Fry: Do you remember what year it was?
Alan Davies: 3,000 years ago. Tuesday morning.
***
Stephen Fry: I'll give you an extra two points if you can tell me the longest fence in the world.
Phill Jupitus: The Great Fence of China!
Alan Davies: It's to keep people off the Great Wall.
***
Stephen: My mother and, er, family thank you for saying "lavatory", not "toilet", but it's not true. The Chinese did, of course. Who else? But he did invent . . . the ballcock.
Alan: The ballcock.
Stephen: The ball . . . cock. Erm . . . Sorry. I don't know why that's funny. Sorry that it's funny to say ball . . . cock. *giggles*
***
Stephen: How would you use gummy bears to rob a bank?
Vic: What I would do is sneak up behind the bank clerks and push them in their eyes.
***
Stephen Fry: What is the longest animal in the world? Or which is the longest animal in the world, if you prefer?
Bill Bailey: The common or garden domestic cat.
Alan Davies: It's about that long, though.
Bill Bailey: Yes. But when you stretch 'em out! Have you ever held a cat up under its arms like that? It's massive.
Alan Davies: But a blue whale would be longer than that!
Bill Bailey: Yes, yes! But in its class!
Alan Davies: If you held a blue whale up, you'd have to stand on a tall building and swing it for hours.
***
"Now, the rules are simple; points are given and points are taken away. They’re taken away for answers that are both obvious and wrong. And they are given not so much for being correct as for being interesting. The level of interestingness is impartially determined by a demographically selected customer service focus consultancy, broken down by age and sex, ie. me. Because there is no one more broken down by age and sex."

@темы: лол, погода, мать твою!, будни, главные вопросы жизни, вселенной и всего такого, QI

Comments

[LizziRiver]

какой прекрасный пост))

[эш;]

LizziRiver, все становится прекраснее с QI

[LizziRiver]

эш;,
это точно))